Penny-wise but horrific experience: coupons
Hands up those who got all excited about the concept of Groupon and other similar websites that offer seemingly impossibly high discounts on goods & services?
Frankly, I've always been wary of these deals. Unfortunately, I have friends who love this kind of thing and want to drag you along on whatever 'deal' they've gotten. Sigh...
So what happens is that I go along and invariably, it sucks. Here is why:
Experience 1: Buffet, supposedly.
It was a small pub / bistro in PJ. Well known for their BBQ lunch. This time, they did a Groupon deal for a buffet and free-flow of alcohol. Really got such a big frog jumping on the road*, meh?
[* - literal translation of Chinese saying; meaning 'seems to good to be true', ie it (the frog) would have been caught and eaten a long time ago]
Holy crap, I tell you, it was the most painful experience EVER.
The drinks were watered down and you can tell it was not a good brand that they used, very harsh tasting. I'm not a big drinker, so the free-flow was not a must-have for me but what got me upset was the low quality. (A theme to be repeated across most Groupon deals, believe me)
Next, was the wait. It was not a buffet where you'd help yourself. Nooo, they would serve you. Course by course. Which would be fine but not if you have to wait 30 minutes to 45 minutes between courses!
First came the soup. It was inedible. It had no taste except for pepper. It had the texture of ground up, soggy tissue paper. With no taste, let me repeat that.
20 minutes later, came the salad and garlic toast. I was so freaking hungry and desperate to get the peppery-blah taste of the soup that I ate a lot of toast.
45 minutes later, came the meat dishes. It started to get a bit better from then on and they obviously sent out the cheap cuts of meat out first, saving their signature roast pork knuckle out LAST which was, by then, tea time. I kid you not, we sat down at around 12pm and only finished closed to 4:30.
And they had a singer, who was alright but he set his volume on so loud, we couldn't talk easily to each other. So our conversation was stuck on: "I wish he'd stop singing." "Yeah." "Soup sucks." "I know right?" and so on.
My verdict: never go for any cheap buffet, it's just not worth it.
Experience 2: my stupid gym
I'm a member of a gym that is SUPPOSEDLY a high end, low membership gym. It doesn't offer much classes, which I am fine with it but it is supposed to offer exclusivity, small crowd and good services for which I pay RM150 per month.
What does the damn place do? Offer a Groupon trial membership for RM49 per month. What do we end up with? Jammed packed with cheap-ass losers who:
1. Use up all the hot water
2. Take up all the lockers
3. Are creepy and leer at the women
4. Don't know how to dress or behave at a gym
5. Hog the machines and don't know how to use them
And pay only 30% for that month while the regular members pay full price to be INFLICTED by these people.
Fuck. You. Discount Hounds.
Listen to me carefully: What is good is not cheap. What is cheap is not good.
What really gets to me is that I am willing to pay for quality (e.g. the gym) and if you, as the business, lower the price thus signalling that you yourself do not value what you offer, how can I respect your product or service any more?
Sure, discounts are a great way to drum up more sales, get more people through the door but let me ask you, how many people would sign up for the gym membership at 150 bucks after using it for 49? How many would go back to that bistro after experiencing that kind of torture of slow food and loud music?
I know I'm not going back there for sure and I am definitely cancelling my membership once my contract is over.
So you know what, all these bulk discount programs are just destructive.
They destroy the value of a business by cheapening it so much that it attracts the wrong kind of customer who are just in it to try it out with no intention to continue AND drives away the existing loyal customers who get elbowed aside by these discount hunters.
Just to be clear, there are 4 parties here:
Frankly, I've always been wary of these deals. Unfortunately, I have friends who love this kind of thing and want to drag you along on whatever 'deal' they've gotten. Sigh...
So what happens is that I go along and invariably, it sucks. Here is why:
Experience 1: Buffet, supposedly.
It was a small pub / bistro in PJ. Well known for their BBQ lunch. This time, they did a Groupon deal for a buffet and free-flow of alcohol. Really got such a big frog jumping on the road*, meh?
[* - literal translation of Chinese saying; meaning 'seems to good to be true', ie it (the frog) would have been caught and eaten a long time ago]
Holy crap, I tell you, it was the most painful experience EVER.
The drinks were watered down and you can tell it was not a good brand that they used, very harsh tasting. I'm not a big drinker, so the free-flow was not a must-have for me but what got me upset was the low quality. (A theme to be repeated across most Groupon deals, believe me)
Next, was the wait. It was not a buffet where you'd help yourself. Nooo, they would serve you. Course by course. Which would be fine but not if you have to wait 30 minutes to 45 minutes between courses!
First came the soup. It was inedible. It had no taste except for pepper. It had the texture of ground up, soggy tissue paper. With no taste, let me repeat that.
20 minutes later, came the salad and garlic toast. I was so freaking hungry and desperate to get the peppery-blah taste of the soup that I ate a lot of toast.
45 minutes later, came the meat dishes. It started to get a bit better from then on and they obviously sent out the cheap cuts of meat out first, saving their signature roast pork knuckle out LAST which was, by then, tea time. I kid you not, we sat down at around 12pm and only finished closed to 4:30.
And they had a singer, who was alright but he set his volume on so loud, we couldn't talk easily to each other. So our conversation was stuck on: "I wish he'd stop singing." "Yeah." "Soup sucks." "I know right?" and so on.
My verdict: never go for any cheap buffet, it's just not worth it.
Experience 2: my stupid gym
I'm a member of a gym that is SUPPOSEDLY a high end, low membership gym. It doesn't offer much classes, which I am fine with it but it is supposed to offer exclusivity, small crowd and good services for which I pay RM150 per month.
What does the damn place do? Offer a Groupon trial membership for RM49 per month. What do we end up with? Jammed packed with cheap-ass losers who:
1. Use up all the hot water
2. Take up all the lockers
3. Are creepy and leer at the women
4. Don't know how to dress or behave at a gym
5. Hog the machines and don't know how to use them
And pay only 30% for that month while the regular members pay full price to be INFLICTED by these people.
Fuck. You. Discount Hounds.
Listen to me carefully: What is good is not cheap. What is cheap is not good.
What really gets to me is that I am willing to pay for quality (e.g. the gym) and if you, as the business, lower the price thus signalling that you yourself do not value what you offer, how can I respect your product or service any more?
Sure, discounts are a great way to drum up more sales, get more people through the door but let me ask you, how many people would sign up for the gym membership at 150 bucks after using it for 49? How many would go back to that bistro after experiencing that kind of torture of slow food and loud music?
I know I'm not going back there for sure and I am definitely cancelling my membership once my contract is over.
So you know what, all these bulk discount programs are just destructive.
They destroy the value of a business by cheapening it so much that it attracts the wrong kind of customer who are just in it to try it out with no intention to continue AND drives away the existing loyal customers who get elbowed aside by these discount hunters.
Just to be clear, there are 4 parties here:
- The bulk discount platform that sells the merchant the seductive idea of getting hordes of people into their business, but does not warn them about how volume can affect quality, can affect customer experience - they just want to earn their listing fees!
- The merchant - I don't know if they are naive or what, surely they must know their capacity and if you cannot handle, then don't do this. Raise your price slowly if you have to but if your quality is good, you will always maintain and grow customers who are loyal to you.
- The discount hounds as I call them. Yes, they're frugal and out for a good deal, I don't blame them at all. But seriously, there will come a day when you are affluent enough to want to enjoy something be it a retailer, F&B outlet or service provider like a gym that offers exclusivity then imagine facing a horde of patrons, who are clearly not of your socio-economic class, taking over your favourite joint. Then see how you like it.
- Loyal customers who are willing to pay the full price for the value of what they buy and then are faced with not enjoying any discount, because they were loyal?! Talk about being taken for granted.
Obviously, you know where my sympathies lie, being a No 4 myself.
Look, I love getting a bargain too. If I can get away with not paying retail on items like clothing, luggage, accessories etc, I'll be there in a heartbeat because you know that the mark-up is high and the discount is only to clear stock space for new goods.
But for things like food and services, what customers want is consistent quality and I don't know about you but I'm willing to pay the full price if it gives me what I want. But don't water down your quality just to get more people through the door because it will only hurt your business in the long run. Get it?
xoxo
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